Craigslist rant and rave posting school: Lesson 1

Lesson 1: Introduction to posting a compelling argument


There is no better proof that George Bush's No Child Left Behind Act, was a complete and utter failure than a quick perusal of the craigslist.org "Rant and Raves" section. This is the meeting ground for the functionally illiterate to create musings that are mostly non-sense.

Take for example, the man, angry because he's home on a Saturday night:
"I sit here and wonder why I am single ..I go out and socialize quite a bit !..I also have a job that I travel the city too !..(I am any where form the north end of town to the south end ) east end of town to the foothills also D.T.C.area .. Thats where I see really good looking women ( Snobs, Bithces )and probably married ..But I cant wait to get home in the evening and jack off because most women in America just plain suck !...They are either fat and ugly or are so into themselves they want to serial date and have the poor guy pay for everything ...( Sorry we go out you pay your share till we are a couple)...I like women that are self supportive and have a life of their own but willing to share their time ( God I am so independant, I hate the type of women that are clingy right away )maybe I should try and bring up a few women from Mexico !....A woman that knows how to take care of her man ....Not a raging BIATCH"

Hmmm....Compelling argument from this craigslister. Although, I think the argument can be poked through with just a little thought. First of all, this was posted on a Saturday night. Can we agree that if someone socializes "quite a bit!" they would not be at home writing pathetic craigslist musings?
My other favorite is the complete lack of spell-check. Yes, I admit, sometimes I don't completely proof-read my postings either, but if I get a little red underline beneath a word, I at least make sure that the word was spelled correctly. Sadly, in this day in age it's too much to ask an "indepenadant" man to do the same. I mean, hell, if you're going to insult women in general, make sure you don't call them bithces. WTF is a bithc anyhow?
And speaking of idiocy, it was bad enough trying to get through the mediocre spelling, but obviously this gentleman has never had to pull together a written argument. He is looking for that independent woman, who is not clingy, and can pay her way through any date. Ok, that is cool. So tell me why, in the next sentence he is looking for a woman from Mexico that can take care of all his needs? I don't think most Mexican women are raised to carry the flag of feminism strongly. I could be wrong, but all the Mexican women I know stay at home watching telenovelas on a Friday night while their men are dancing at El Vaquero.

Not thinking about finance

Today has been yet another rough day in markets. And I really don't think the worst is over. So what do you do? Pull out your money out of your FDIC-insured bank account? Buy gold bullion? Start depositing your paychecks under your mattress?
No no and no....it doesn't matter what any of us do...we're all so screwed. If the government can't cover your $20,000 bank account balance, we have more torubles that the great depression. So instead...i'm going to think of something else.


Television shows that are old enough to drink:
21 Jump Street
ALF
A Different World
Married with Children
My Two Dads
Unsolved Mysteries
and the current favorite Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

There is nothing wrong with America, that can't be forgotten about with some good TV.

Place your bets

What did the Dow Jones Industrial Average Close at on 12/31/1999? Ok everyone, place your bets. Today was a depressing day for many people in the finance world. And whether you are loving it or hating it, consider this. Those, even in the finance industry, that are most affected are living on the edge. There are plenty of finance professionals that weren't making six-figure salaries in 2005. They were loyal to their companies, and their companies are going afloat.

It is unbelievably sad how bad this decade has been. Since my graduation in 2002, I've determined that I would have been in the same position whether I worked hard to pay down debts, own a modest home, and continue my education, as I would have taken a lousy teaching job in Japan and seeing the world. I took the former route, but times like these make me wish I would have taken the latter.

Me and DH are looking to refi, and even with good credit, even with no credit card debt, refinancing is very difficult. Our house minimally appreciated, and the fact that we need a 90% LTV loan is not helping at all. So what do you do? I guess we won't refi. Even with the ARM adjustments, we can still afford our payments, thankfully.

So what are your guesses for 12/31/1999? The answer is the Dow closed at 11,497.12. So based off of today, in a little over eight years, we are now at 10,917.51. In eight years, not only have we not moved forward, but we've proceeded to move backward.

Have you had enough? I know I have

John McCain keeps calling me...

But first a video




...yes, John McCain keeps calling me, and Barack Obama's friends keep knocking on my door. I am one of the "kingpin" unaffiliated voters in the state of Colorado. Most states in the mountain region are vehemently Republican. Most states in the Pacific region are notoriously Democratic, but Colorado has a more unusual claim to fame. There are more unaffiliated voters in Colorado, than affiliated with any other party. I am one of them. And in the City an County of Denver, I probably stick out a little more than I should.

You see, Denver itself is very liberal. Much like Boulder. In fact, you don't even need a city limits sign to know whether or not you are in and out of Denver, all you really need to do is count the McCain or Obama signs.

But I digress, being in the city limits, Republicans are finding every independent voter they can. But strangely, they don't come door to door in my neighborhood. I just get a message from one of John's friends every so often. The Democrats are also trying to motivate their bases. In fact, I notice the creative pattern they walk up my block. I have separated the four unaffiliated voters on my street, based upon the creative walking pattern.

I'm not sure if this is a sign of things to come, or just because I am in Denver, but I've been seeing three Obama visitors for every one McCain. It could be a sign of things to come...

Craigslist: a good place for shock value

Ok, warning, DO NOT open any of these links at work, or if you find the human form offensive (Particluarly the VERY hairy human form)

So I love craigslist, as you well know by now. And if you hear me in the other room shouting "Eww!!" "Eek" or "Nasty", you know there is only one section I'm reading: The M4M. If there were ever proof that men and women are ultimately looking for something different in life, I think just reading the M4M versus the W4W section is the ultimate proof. Most of the women are looking for a long-term relationship, where as most of the men, well, let me give you some headline examples:
Hot cock now! - 26 -
Daddy Bear up and Horny! - 44 -

And let me tell you, you don't click on anything with a picture, unless you are truly ready for anything. Even something as simple, as "Grand Hyatt hotel" can lead to the wormiest, hairiest man on record. I guess I must like being some kind of outside observer of nasty trainwrecks. I have to wonder how many of these ads work. Maybe by the sheer volume of them in Denver, they must work somewhat. Much more than ads like this:

Politically minded college student - 24

Bummer he's gay, he sounds like fun.

Happy Birthday! You're a cheap asshole

For those considering conception this year. May I offer a handful of advice? Whatever you do, do not consider an August or September baby. I won't bore you with all of my familial details, I share birthdays within a week of my dad, mother-in-law, brother-in-law and aunt. Even when I was a kid, I was used to the fact that the "family birthday party" would actually be for my aunt. And of course, you don't miss what you never have, but I think we may have sunk to a new low.

My father's birthday was this weekend (four days past mine). I offered to take him and my step-mom out. My brother and his girlfriend wanted to come too, and my brother offered to split the costs, which I thought was nice of him. Especially given the fact that he probably makes twice as much as I do. Anyhow, we pick out probably one of the best Italian restaurants in Colorado, and meet up. Something else you should know, my step-mom is stupid rich, and stupid republican. So unfortunately, I got to sit next to her and hear every stupid argument given from Fox News since the last week of the republican convention. Thanks to a tip from Akubi, I pointed out to my step-mom that the republicans couldn't even pick the right picture for the backdrop of their own keynote speech. (Walter Reed Middle School vs. Walter Reed AMC) And of course, as if she had been watching Fox News preparing for a rebuttal, she cooly states that, "Of course they would never want to put an image representing the fiasco that was Walter Reed AMC, of course they meant the middle school." I also told her, that McCain's voice sounds about as presidential as a TV Episcopalian minister (Why do they always sound like Kermit the Frog?) but she didn't think that was funny, and asked when was the last time I went to church....

Well anyhow, we continue to dine, and talk about politics. I had the Ravioli d'Agosta, We all ordered a tiramisu and a chocolate cake for dessert. Very good stuff, then the check comes. As agreed, my brother and I split it, and we get our credit card receipts back. Mind you I always tip at least 15%. My step-mom looks over to see what I'm going to tip and tells me I have to tip at least 20%, because all waiters think that women are cheap. First of all, I'm not really the kind to care what people think about me (for tipping or otherwise). Second of all, in all the times my dad and step-mom took me out, I never looked over to ensure they were tipping at least 20%. Silly me, I thought that was gaudy. So I leave my tip, (for those interested, more than 15, less than 20). She was so embarrassed, but too bad. Then of course we have one last conversation. The dreaded pro-life conversation. She says, (to know whether or not abortion good or bad) all you need to do is ask yourself this, "Would I have wanted my mother to abort me, and I say no." After three hours of idiocy, I was starting to wish I was dead, so I couldn't really answer with the affirmative reply she was hoping for.

Reno 911!

I do plenty to make my husband mad: ogle escorts online, read their scary bad reviews, become smitten with his cute friends, and stay up all night writing political commentary. As bad as some of those things are, there is one thing that makes my husband really mad. That is, watching hours upon hours of television. Not just the quantity of television, but the quality of television.

Last month I started a new job which include a handsome salary increase. I figured I would reward myself with a DVR. I reasoned, I would be more productive, being able to cruise through commercials, watching the best shows with my limited time. If I decide I want to watch one of my husband's more hated shows (ie To Catch a Predator, or I Love Money) I could record them, and watch them while my husband is at work.

But there is one recorded show that I choose all over the rest. That is Reno 911! Luckily season 4 is on WGN evenings, and I find three new episodes regularly saved on my DVR. It is so sophomoric, but I love it. If you have no time to watch the actual episodes, I highly recommend Reno 911! The Movie. It has all the best parts, Terry the gay criminal. A guy from just outside Denver (Fort Collins) who amasses a cocaine empire in Miami (which failed in Fort Collins because they're more into Marijuana.)


So I will spend my Saturday watching lots of Reno 911! And the other items saved into DVR:
The Simpsons
Sex and the City
King of the Hill
Family Guy
InfoMania
Kitchen Nightmares
Brooke Knows Best
Project Runway
Roseanne
Mexico One Plate at a Time
I Love Money
Cops

Happy viewing!